Weave Silk

This is my web, go weave your own [clicky-click here spider]
Ah, shame you can’t see my creation when on mobile, but the app is available on iPhone here

“I am a teller of stories. A weaver of dreams. I can dance, sing, and in the right weather I can stand on my head. I know 7 words of Latin, I have a little magic, and a trick or two. I know the proper way to meet a dragon. I can fight dirty but not fair. I once swallowed thirty oysters in a minute. I am not domestic. I am a luxury and, in that sense, necessary.”

I'm not Veruca Salt!

A few years ago, I experienced severe jetlag after an 11 hour nonstop flight, which upon landing surprised me with an unexpected 4 hour layover, and then and additional hour and a half flight to my final designation.  Running on fumes, I paid my debt to the sandman as if my mind was on an energy screensaver while my circadian rhythm played maracas to a new time zone.  During one of my dazed micronaps the original Willy Wonka movie played in the background, which provoked me to angrily utter out, “I’m not Veruca Salt!” in an imaginary protest.  As I started to orientate myself, it dawned on me that I never knew the names of any of the supporting characters.  I must have heard her announce herself to Wonka as the hyperbolic movie wove itself into my dream.

Even as a child, I found this movie disturbing, amongst a few others, Alice in Wonderland, and the Wizard of Oz come to mind.  I’m sure you can see the common thread here, *shakes a finger at Johnny Depp* …Burton should call him for an Oz remake.  You heard it here first, someone tweet Variety.  To my defense there are some valid controversial issues surrounding the adaption of Wonka from the publication to the silver screen.

And what’s the interwebz good for if not for churning out obscure conspiracies?  You’ll find countless threads about Willy Wonka being compared to Dante’s Inferno, fused with comical and elaborate debates centering on which child represents which deadly sin.

Even Robot Chicken produced some tongue in cheek featurettes besmirching the technicolor classic.

Considering my disdain for the movie, why would I post about it?  This latest conspiracy that Snowpiercer is a sequel to Willy Wonka has amused me, so I thought I would share. 

Palmer proposes that the Snowpiercer is a sequel to Willy Wonka, and builds his case by connecting the timeline of the transfer of ownership of the Chocolate Factory in 1971, to the aftermath of global warming in 2014 that sets forth events that ushers Snowpiercer into motion.  The WonkaPiercer theory, analyses the maladaptive golden ticket winners, reveals the fate of the Oompa Loompas, and examines the responsibilities Wonka bequeaths upon Charley. 

Shit!  Apparently, I am Veruca Salt according to BuzzFeed!  Go figure…